The Darkness Can't Last
by cherrydust
Summary: When I was very young...I was in a fire. The fire...It killed…and my sight. After the fire...The world became a world of darkness... That's all you get! R for child abuse, lemon, lime, yaoi and major AU
1. The Darkness Can't Last 1/13

Duo's POV

Warnings! Okay, here we go…

We have yaoi, a lime and lemon(s) in later parts, child abuse/rape, violent cursing, and major AU/OOC. Oh and death ^_^ You've been warned!

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_The Darkness Can't Last_

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_Duo's POV_

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When I was very young, only about four or five I was in a fire. The fire was devastating. It killed my parents…and my sight. After the fire, I never saw again. The world became a world of darkness. All was black…

I have memories of color. One memory stands out in particular…

A bright red against the clear blue of the sky with puffy white clouds…when I remember those colors my hands reach out to touch them, to gather them closer to me. Oh, what I would give to see yellow again! Yellow, the color of sun! The sun that doesn't shine for me. Oh, how I love yellow!

I can't see. I don't even dream in images anymore. My dreams are all words…or they are the few times I've slept deeply enough to dream. I live in, what we affectionately have nicknamed it, 'a hellhole'.

I live with two men. I don't like them. They don't like me. But I need them because my blindness makes me helpless and they need me because neither one of them has the energy to cook or clean. They're either too drunk to even think of it or they're hangover's too bad. Or some times, they have friends' over.

I never liked Heero. He was too cold. His voice was always a sharp bark when he spoke to me and if I could see, I imagine his eyes would be the cold, hard, unimpressionable color of black. I hate black. Blackness surrounds me and I hate it! And I hate Heero for making me remember…but yet, I am grateful to him because he took me off of the streets and into his home. Why, I will never know. Most likely he was drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I hate knowing I was just his drunken idea, that he doesn't give a shit about me one way or another.

When I was younger, I liked Trowa. If he wasn't 'entertaining' friends, he would play me his flute. And sometimes he would sit next to me by the window and describe what was going down in the busy streets. When I was little, I was fascinated by his voice. It was always smooth, calm, and level. It never rose in anger like Heero's and he never used the foul language Heero flung around so carelessly.

But one night, Trowa came into my room.

And I stopped liking his voice.

Heero found Trowa in my room one night. That was the only time he did something for me. He was half-drunk, but he was conscious enough to realize what was going on. "Trowa, you bastard! What the fuck do you think you're doing? For Chrissake, he's only a kid!" Heero screamed, dragging Trowa off of me. "You sick pervert! You pedophile! What the hell have you done to him? You want the cops to go after us? Huh?"

I could hear Heero hitting him and I could sense Trowa's calm acceptance of the blows Heero was battering him with. "You bastard! He's not one of your customers! Stay out of the kid's room, you hear me? Stay out of his room!"

I curled myself in a ball, my thin back pressed against the headboard. "Please stop," I whispered in a quavering voice. "Please, let them stop."

And they did. Heero smacked Trowa once more before storming out the door. Halfway out the door, he turned and came into my room. He stood in the doorway and asked, "You all right kid?"

Although I wasn't, I nodded and whispered, "Yeah, I'm fine Heero."

"Good. And if that bastard ever tries to touch you again, you bite and kick and scream until he lets you go! Promise you'll never let that pervert do that to you again!" I could feel the cold glare of Heero's eyes on me. "Promise!"

"I promise," I answered.

"Good…" he slammed the door to my room and stalked out of the apartment.

No one talked about what had happened the next day. But Heero brought home a half-melted carton of chocolate ice cream and Trowa never went near my room again.

After that, I stopped letting people do what they wanted to me. Just because I'm blind doesn't mean people can abuse me like that.

One day I'm going see the light again.

The darkness can't last forever.

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

When I was a kid, I saw a bunch of boys throwing stones at a harmless old man we'd nicknamed the neighborhood crazy just because he had five cats. He never did anything wrong and yet we tormented him. I used to think that was the saddest thing I'd ever seen.

But today, I saw something worse.

Some guy, who could've been my age or twenty years older, he was so wasted on his booze, it was hard to tell. He was dragging a very reluctant kid, about my age in years, but he looked much younger in maturity from the vulnerable air that practically radiated from him. He was dragging the poor kid down the street, screaming at the top of his lungs, "You fuckin' bastard! What the hell, did you think you were doing? I'll beat you, I will. And maybe I'll one of that white trash that hangs around our place have a go at you! Would you like that, kid? Huh!"

The boy was struggling and screaming something back at the drunk I couldn't understand but the older man must've because he turned and back-handed the boy. "Hey!" I yelled before I could stop myself, "What the hell d'you think you're doing!"

He turned and glared at me through blood-shot, red-rimmed eyes. "I'm disciplining the brat, that's what I'm doing!"

"Abusing him's more like it," I snapped. If there's one thing I hate, it's a guy who can get away with abusing someone smaller, younger, or weaker than him. "You trying to dislocate the poor kid's shoulder?"

"He's blind for Chrissake! He don't know what he's doing!"

"Just because someone's blind doesn't mean they can't hear or see to feel and think!" I yelled.

He glared at me and the ugliest sneer I've ever seen crept across his face. "Get the hell out of my way. I don't need a fuckin' foreigner to tell me what to do."

I truly did see red then. In all my life, I'd never had anyone say anything about my race before. So I did the only thing that seemed acceptable at the time. I hit as hard as I could.

The disgusting bit of human life glared at me and rubbed his face. "Bastard. You want the little blind kid? You can have him China-man!"

With that he shoved the poor kid at em and stormed off. I glared after his retreating back. The kid swallowed audibly and said, "I'm sorry."

I glanced down at him. He was a nice looking boy and had probably gotten hooked up in the wrong crowd. "My name's Wufei. What's yours?"

_Duo's POV_

I wanted to stare at the man Heero had fought with, but I didn't. I didn't want him to see my mess of a face and anyway, what good would staring do if I couldn't see him? After a moment, I heard him say his name and ask mine. Wufei… I rolled the unfamiliar name around in my mind for a few moments. I liked the way it sounded in my mind and was eager to say it. "I think my name is Kid, Wufei." I was pleased that I'd pronounced his name right, I often got the pronunciations of words wrong. Being in a home where everyone was half-wasted and slurring all the time hadn't done anything to improve my speech skills.

I could feel his gaze on me. "Kid? What a horrible name. What's your real name?"

I blanched for a second. My real name…I've never been called anything but Kid! I had a vague memory of someone saying, 'Duo' but that might not have been me they were talking too. I decided to risk it, "Duo. My name's Duo."

"Duo…that's a better name," Wufei's voice was vague-sounding, as if his mind was preoccupied with other thoughts. "How old are you? I'm eighteen."

I loved the way he was volunteering information about himself. Trowa and Heero had never volunteered any information about themselves and always ignored my questions. "Eighteen."

"Thought so." Even though he hadn't said very much, I liked his voice. It was deep and soft, but unlike Trowa's; it had risen in anger. I liked listening to him talk. "Duo!" From the sound of his voice he'd said something to me several times.

I smiled. I'd never heard anyone say my name before. "Say my name again."

"What?" I could feel his surprised look.

"Please…say my name."

"Duo…" I smiled again. I liked the way my name sounded in his voice. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

"Back with Heero and Trowa. That's where I live," I answered.

"No! I refuse to let you go back with that bastard." I'd never heard bastard said so many times in such short time. "Come on, you can hang around with me for a while."

I smiled and looked up at him, "Thank you."

"Duo!"

"What?"

"Your face!" The shocked tone was gone and a more sympathetic tone in its place. "Duo, what happened?"

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

I was ashamed of having jumped at the sight of his face. I'd only seen him at a profile and he looked normal from a profile. But seeing his face…oh Gods, it was shocking. After a while I'd get used to it, but for the moment, it was a shock.

"My face!" His voice was panicked. "My mess of a face!" He reached up and felt the scars. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-,"

"It's fine." I said firmly, "I just wasn't prepared for the shock. I'm over it now. Now, Duo, tell me what happened."

"A fire," he said in a flat voice. "It killed my parents and left me blind."

"How'd you get in with that guy who was dragging you?"

"Oh, you mean Heero? When I was about eight he found me wandering around in the streets and took me home with him," Duo shrugged. It was disturbing to see how he accepted the blows life had dealt him. "I've lived there ever since."

"Gods…" I murmured. Well one thing was for sure; I wasn't going to let Duo go back to those assholes. "Well, now it's my turn to take you in off the streets."

"You'd take me home with you?" His tone was disbelieving.

"I never lie Duo."

"I do."

I gazed at him. His frank, blunt way of speaking was unsettling. "I lie a lot. But I won't lie to you." That blunt way of speaking was both intriguing me and annoying me.

I sighed and said; "Should I uh-hold your hand?"

"Yes. I'll learn the sounds of your footsteps so I won't always have to do that though," he said.

I picked up his hand. It was so slender and small in mine; I was surprised. He hadn't seemed so thin, but the baggy black clothes that he was wearing hid most of his frame. 

"What do you look like?"

Again, his question surprised me. "Well…" I tried to think of a way to describe myself.

"Can I feel your face?"

"Uh, yeah." I answered. What have I gotten myself into? Duo removed his hand from mine and gently placed his fingers on my face.

I felt a shiver creep down my spine as his hands moved slowly and delicately over my face, feelings the curve of my lips and tracing my cheekbones. "Thank you Wufei," he said suddenly and stepped away.

"Um…you're welcome." I was surprised to feel a heated blush flooding my cheeks. "Come on, I'll take you home now."


	2. The Darkness Can't Last 2/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

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After I removed my hands from Wufei's face, I felt slightly disappointed. I liked the way his smooth skin had felt beneath my fingertips, the way my touch had sent a shiver down his spine, the way I heard his breathing quicken. But I had removed my hands, afraid of what he might do if I over-stepped my boundaries. I knew he was embarrassed from the way he walked quickly and avoided looking at me. I could hear his eyes shifting to look at anything from me. But, despite his less than friendly attitude, he kept my fingers grasped tightly in his.

"Wh-where do you live?" I asked after almost fifteen minutes of walking.

"Close by. Only about five or ten more minutes," he answered.

I was enjoying the way his hand curved protectively around mine and wanted to slow down so he would be touching me longer. I didn't though, I was afraid of angering him and he'd already been kind to me.

"We're here. Come with me," his voice wasn't as urgent and brusque as before.

A rush of cool air hit me as I entered what I presumed was the lobby of his apartment building. "What was that?" I asked, my voice higher than usual. "Why is it so cold in here?"

I could hear people slowing down as they passed and I had the strangest feeling they were giving me a sympathetic smile. I hated it. I hated the darkness more than ever then. "Wufei?"

His voice hid gentle laughter as he answered, "It's the air conditioner."  
"Air conditioner?" I whispered, feeling stupid. But how was I to know? I'd never been out of the apartment before and our apartment was far from up-to-date and modern. Heero and Trowa never volunteered any information about the outside world and I had never heard of an air conditioner, let alone been in a room with it. "Oh…I'm sorry."

"Don't be.' His hand was gentle on my arm as he guided me towards something. "You couldn't have known."

"We didn't have an air conditioner," I told him, trying to excuse my behavior. I think he might have nodded, but I didn't know. It was hard to identify sounds with all the noise around me. "Do you live here?"

"Yep. And now, so do you."

The thought was miraculous to me. I was going to live with this man who'd already shown far too much kindness to me…

"Are you yellow Wufei?"

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

I was still wondering over the shock of the air conditioner when he asked me if I was yellow.

"What did you say?" I turned towards him, frowning. Where did he get a nutty idea like that?

"Are you yellow?"

"N-no…why?"

"I'm surrounded in black. My whole world is darkness. Ye-yellow is the color of the sun. And…" he trailed off, flushing a dramatic red against his ivory cheeks.

"Oh…I understand." I felt something akin to sympathy as I stared at him. I hadn't thought about it much, but now it really sunk in. Duo *could not see*. He couldn't see at all. All he ever saw was darkness…then, rather than pity; I felt the strong urge embrace him, to comfort him and to wipe the bad memories away and leave only the good. I resisted the urge and instead, grasped his hand to lead him onto the elevator.

"Have you ever been in an elevator before?" I asked as I hit the eight button.

"N-no…" he shifted his weight nervously and avoided looking at me.

After a while, I realized he was frightened. "You're breaking my fingers," I said gently, prying his death-grip off my hand.

"Oh…sorry," he whispered, standing still. "Wufei…"

"Yeah?"

"Can we take the stairs next time?"

I smiled, "Of course." I'd only taken the elevator because I'd wanted Duo situated before I had to go to work that night. "Look, we're on my-our-floor."

_Duo's POV_

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_"Do you want something to drink?" I jerked myself out of my thoughts._

"Um…no, that's okay," I said. I was lying though, trying not to make any trouble for him.

Wufei must've seen through my lie though because a moment later he was pressing something cold into my hand. "Do you like iced tea?"

"I've never had it before," I admitted, taking a cautious sip. "It's good…at home the only thing besides water was Heero's liquor."

I could sense the darkening in Wufei's face, "This is your home now," he said quietly.

"Yes," I responded, not knowing quite what to say. I felt like thanking him, but it seemed like an awkward thing to do.

"Do you want me to show you around?" he asked next.

I'd wanted to ask Wufei the same thing. "Yes. Would you?"

"Sure…" He inclined his head towards me, "Can you follow me around?"

"Yeah…there's not so much noise here."

"Okay, come on. Here's the kitchen right next to the den…"

After a while, Wufei's voice faded into nothing but a pleasant sound as I explored each room. Unlike Trowa and Heero, he didn't seem to mind me touching things and asking questions. In fact, he seemed to enjoy showing me everything and took a pleasure in answering my questions.

"What do you do for a job?" I asked him suddenly.

He probably gave me a strange look, he had just shown me the bathroom and now I was talking about jobs. "Oh…I work at the school."

"Are you a teacher? You'd be a good one."

He laughed, "No. But I might be someday. Right now I'm just a night-custodian."

"…Oh."

I could hear his shrug, "I'm putting myself through college, I need whatever jobs I can get. I work another job as a waiter."

And here I was, another person for him to support. "I can try and do something. Heero and Towa never let me try anything other than house-keeping…but I bet I could do something!"

"No, I want you to go to school too."

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I can't see! How can you teach a blind man to read? To write?"

Wufei laughed gently at me. "Duo…have you ever heard of Braille?"

"Vaguely."

"That's the way blind people like yourself learn to read and write!"

"No," I said in disbelief.

"Yes!" He affirmed.

"You'd let me go to school?"

"Duo, I'd make you."

I couldn't speak. I wanted to fling my arms around him and shout thank you! But I was wary of showing too much gratitude; afraid I might irritate or embarrass him.

So I said simply, "Wow."

_Wufei's POV_

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_"And here's your room," I announced, flinging the door open. I stood in the doorway, watching as Duo investigated the room, picking things up and running his hands over the bed and dresser._

"It's nice," he said softly. He turned towards me and a smile lit up his features, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," I said, feeling unexplainably embarrassed. "I hope you like it."

"I do…" Suddenly, he whirled around and said, his voice high with fear, "You won't-you won't come in here at night will you?"

"What? No, of course not! Its *your* room and you can have privacy in here."

Duo let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Good…" He glanced up at me, "Trowa used to come into my room."

That sick bastard. "Well, I won't."

"Good…I like you Wufei," he whispered.

I hoped that meant he trusted me. "I like you too Duo."

He smiled, "Thank you."

_Duo's POV_

_ _

_The next few weeks passed by in a blur for me. I didn't want too much and Wufei was over-whelming me with the extent of his generosity. Time and time again I begged for him to stop showering with gifts and he simply laughed and told me he liked spoiling me._

At first I was exceedingly grateful, thinking that he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart. But it didn't take me long to realize there was much more than kindness in his actions.

Wufei made me feel things I'd never known existed, let alone things I could feel. When he was nearby, I felt an over-whelming sense of joy, the touch of him made a warmth rush over my body, the scent of him made me heady with excitement. I couldn't understand the feelings; no one had ever explained anything about love and sex to me. All I knew about sex I had learned from listening to what went on in Trowa and Heero's bedroom late at night and the times Trowa had entered my bedroom. And love was a foreign object to me, as mysterious as the sunlight I so desperately wanted to see.

But some how, I felt my feelings towards Wufei were good and completely unlike the hatred I now felt towards Heero and Trowa. And I couldn't stop my ever-growing want to be near Wufei, to be with him, to hear his voice and feel his touch.

Very quickly, perhaps too quickly Wufei was becoming my whole world.

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

I loved spoiling Duo. He was so surprised by any little kindness, so grateful for anything I did for him; it was an almost unsettling experience. I often wondered exactly what kind of treatment Duo had gotten in the household he'd grown up in, but refrained from asking. So I simply contented myself by bringing him small niceties he'd never seen before and enjoying the way his face lit up with childish delight.

Something about him, I couldn't quiet put my finger on it, was different. And it wasn't just the fact that he was blind.

Maybe it was his vulnerability, or maybe his childishly frank way of speaking, but there was something about Duo that intrigued me and drew me closer to him. I wanted to spend every waking moment with him, to watch his face light up when he was happy and to cheer him up when he became depressed.

Very quickly, I was devoting almost all my time to Duo.

And that scared me.


	3. The Darkness Can't Last 2/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

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"Are you ready?"

I looked up from the newspaper I was trying to read. I'd been trying to read by feeling the raised print through my fingertips, but I'd only succeeded in getting inky fingers so far. "Where are we going?"

"To the art museum," Wufei answered matter-of-factly as he opened the refrigerator.

"Why?"

"To see the art," Wufei answered. I could hear him pouring something.

"I highly doubt they'll let me touch anything," I said bitterly. "You go. I'll stay here."

"No," Wufei put something down in front of me. "Drink."

I sipped the liquid he's given me before saying, "Have you forgotten I'm blind?"

"No. Here," he pressed something into my hand.

I sighed. If Wufei didn't want to answer a question, he wouldn't. "What's this?" I asked, feeling the cool plastic of what he'd given me.

"They're glasses."

"I don't *need* glasses."

"Dark glasses. So you won't feel so self-conscious about your scars," he explained and put them on me. "You can hardly see your scars now."

"Oh…" I felt the glasses. "Is my face that bad?"

"What?" he sounded shocked. "Your face is fine! You just always seemed so conscious about the scars, I thought-,"

"It's okay. I know my face is a mess."  
"Dammit Duo, you have a very attractive face and you know it so stop fishing for compliments. Are you ready to go?"

He said my face is attractive I smiled happily, "Yes, I'm ready."

"Okay, let's go."

I'd expected to be bored out of my mind, sitting on a bench in the lobby and waiting for Wufei to finish with the museum. I was wrong however.

Wufei literally dragged me into the museum and through it. "Stop complaining, I'm going to make it so you *can* see," he said firmly, propelling me towards a bench. I hit it hard on and sat down, glaring at him as I rubbed my shin.

"Right now, we are looking at a picture entitled 'The Laundress'. It's an oil painting with brush strokes that curve towards your left," and Wufei went on, describing every detail down to the way the artist had signed his name.

I sat there, not listening at first; amazed he was taking the time to do this for me. And once in awhile, when he saw an employee, he managed to persuade them to let me touch the paintings or sculptures, whatever happened to be in the room at the time.

After awhile, I guess he saw my amazement and shock that anyone wanted to spend that much time on me because he sat down next to me and said, "Is this too much? Do you want to leave?"

"No, it's okay," I said.

"You said you'd never lie to me." I could almost hear his smile as he said, "Now, do you really want to stay?"

"…No," I admitted.

"C'mon then," Wufei grabbed my hand and helped me up. "We can go back to the apartment and yell obscenities out the window."

I stared at him. He laughed and led me out of the museum.

_Wufei's POV_

"Let go of me."

I turned, "Duo are you *positive* you can make your way through here?" We were in the middle of the bus station at rush hour. 

"Yes! I've done it before!"

"But not in this big of a crowd!" I protested, reaching for his hand again.

"No!" He jerked away from me and crossed his arms, making it so I couldn't reach him.

"Duo…"

"Wu…"

He glared at me, "You have to let me prove that I'm not completely useless!"

"But you're not…" I said. Oh, he was much more than he thought he was.

"Wufei, please," he whispered.

I shrugged helplessly, "Okay…" If he gets hurt or lost I'll kill myself

"Thank you!" his face lit up. I smiled reluctantly and turned to weave my way through the crowds and onto the bus.

When I turned back…he was gone.

_Duo's POV_

_ _

I was ecstatic Wufei trusted me, had enough faith in me to let me do this small task for myself. I suppose I was too caught up in my thoughts that I never noticed the casual jostling of the crowd-until I called Wufei's name and no one answered.

"Wufei?" I whispered.

"Are you lost dear?" said a woman near by. I wondered if she knew I was blind. By the slight gasp that evoked from her, I figured she had just noticed my face.

"N-," I began. I change my mind though, "Yes. Can you help me?"

"What's your address?"

I stood, stumped. Wufei had drilled me on the knowledge of our address and phone number until it was firmly lodged in my brain-but now, my mind was blank and I could only think, I told Wufei I would be all right…I was wrong. I can't even remember my address! "I-I-can you show me the way to the park? I'm meeting someone there."

I was lying, but I hoped that once at the park I could find my way home. Wufei and I had often gone there in the afternoon and I was almost positive I could make my way back.

"You sure?" her voice was shrewdly suspicious.

"Yes."

"All right…" she sounded reluctant; "I'll take you to the park."

"Thank you."

Once at the park, I sat myself down under a tree, feeling too vulnerable out in the middle of the park on a bench. I had to think, take a moment to gather my thoughts to myself and try to figure out what to do. Okay, I can do this. I've done this often enough, I just need to find a familiar landmark and- "What the hell?" I yelped as I felt someone grasp my arms.

"Hey kid," a gruff voice said.

Kid… I started beating at him. "Relax, I ain't gonna hurt ya-," Trowa said he wouldn't hurt me…said it would feel 'nice'…it was *our* little secret…I screamed and kicked out. "Shuddup! You're gonna get me in trouble!"

"Get *away* from him!" I heard someone else yell.

"Stop! I hate you; I hate you! Get away! I hate you! Don't touch me! Stay way from my room! I hate you!" I screamed, kicking and slapping, scratching with my nails, trying to get away.

"You bastard stay away from him!" I heard someone scream. I screamed in terror as I felt someone wrap their arms around me.

I think went crazy for a moment. I was scared, afraid, and lonely with only the memories of my past…so I lashed out. "STOP! I HATE YOU! Don't touch me! It's not nice! It's bad! Bad! I hate it; I hate you! Stay away!"

"What did he do to you? I could kill him!" I heard someone swearing savagely as their arms tightened around me. "Hush. Shh, its okay, just lie still-its me, I won't hurt you…"

Wufei I went limp and threw my arms around him, sobbing.

I cry differently from other people. My eyes are scarred so bad that the tears don't come. They're all held inside and hurts, it hurts so badly. "He came in my room," I sobbed into his neck. "Wufei, he came into my room. He said he wasn't going to hurt me, but he did. He made me feel dirty and he hurt me."

"It's okay, Duo, its okay, I won't let him touch you again…if he comes near you I'll rip him apart with my bare hands, I swear, only please, don't cry!"

I took a deep, shaky breath, and slowly relaxed y hold around Wufei's neck. I went limp and he wrapped his arms around me. "I was only a little kid, I was barely ten and I didn't know any better! Wufei, I *let* him touch me, its all my fault!"

"No its not. It's never your fault. It's that sick, twisted pervert's fault."

I was over-whelmed by a flood of emotion then. I loved him more than ever…but I didn't know if he loved me…I wanted to see his eyes then. If I could just see his eyes, I would know!

"I hate this darkness. I hate it!"

_Wufei's POV_

As I held Duo in my arms then, I felt a rush of mixed emotions, tumbling about in me; not knowing what to do. I half wanted to hold Duo and kiss him until all his fears had disappeared, and I half wanted to shake him until he promised to never leave me again. And for the first time in my life, I wanted to kill somebody. I was filled with a murderous rage, I could have killed Trowa with my bare hands and not felt any remorse at all.

Suddenly, I felt his hands on my face. "What are you doing?" I asked, reaching up to grasp his hand.

"I want to know what you look like! I hate this! I want to see you!" he cried, wrenching his hand from mine. "Wufei, I don't even know what *I* look like! I don't know what color my eyes were or what color my hair is-Wufei, I don't know anything about myself!"

"Oh Duo," I said unhappily. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I need to see!" he said fiercely, running his hands through my hair. "What color are your eyes?"

"They're black Duo," I answered, removing his hands from my face.

He sat still for a moment, "I hate black," he whispered.

"I know…" I clasped his hands in mine, but he shook me off.

"But…" he gazed at me. "I like your kind of black?"

"*My* kind of black?"

"Its not like this cold-this evil-this horrible darkness that surrounds me. Yours is…" he waved his hands helplessly. "Different."

Different?" I repeated, looking at him blankly.

He smiled tiredly, "Your heart's not black, Fei. It makes all the difference."

"Your heart can't be black if you're in love," I said without thinking. Shit. I *know* what he's going to ask

"Who do you love?"

The word was on the tip of my tongue, but I refused to say it. "Don't make me answer that Duo, please," I whispered.

"I love you Wufei."

I'd longed to hear those words for a long time now, but I knew he couldn't mean it. "Don't say that Duo. You don't mean it" I said quietly.

"But I do!" he said, wrapping his arms around me. "Wufei, I love you!"

"Don't say that!" I cried out, "Don't do this to me-don't do this to yourself." Duo had only known three people intimately in his life-one who had raped him, another who had physically abused him…and me. He didn't know enough of the world; he hadn't met enough people to know what love was.

"Do what to myself? Do *what* to you? Wufei, please," he whispered, "Don't make me stop."

"Duo," I whispered, feeling an agonizing pain ripping through me. He loves you. You idiot, he loves you. I argued with myself though, How can he when he only has two monsters to compare me too? He's mistaking friendship for love!

"I know you feel something for me Wufei. I feel it when you touch me, I hear it in your voice, in the way your breathing quickens when I'm near, the way your heart's racing now."

"Stop it!" I hissed, "Don't make me say something we'll regret."

"Wufei…" there was a vast note of pleading in his voice. "Tell me."

I had to be cruel now, "Duo, you're a friend and nothing more. You won't ever be anything more."

His face drained of all color. "Fine," he choked out. "Lie to me."

"Please, let's go home now,' I said, jumping to my feet. "And forget this ever happened."

"You can forget," Duo said, standing up also. "But I won't."

I knew I wouldn't forget, but I refrained from answering as we started back home.


	4. The Darkness Can't Last 4/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

_ _

The scene at the park upset me so much; I locked myself in my room for a week, only coming out when Wufei was at work. I guess I upset him too because I could hear him moving around the apartment, mumbling to himself. Occasionally he would stand outside my door pleading with me to come out, but his words fell on deaf ears.

He'd hurt me by his refusal to tell me how he felt and I wanted to hurt him back. I knew he was lying to me, I knew that he felt more than friendship for me. I didn't know if he loved me or simply lusted after me, but I knew he wanted more than friendship.

And I would have given it so willingly. I would have let him take me if it only meant he'd say he felt something more than friendship. But I didn't know how to tell him if he wouldn't listen when I told him I loved him.

And I did.

I knew he thought he was being cruel to be kind, but he wasn't. I'd given him all my emotion, all my trust, all my heart and he'd rejected it. I'd always thrown my whole heart into everything I did and loving him was no exception. And once I'd thrown my heart into something, I didn't know how to take it back.

One day he stood outside my door, calling, "Duo, please come out, you don't have to talk to me, I just want to make sure you're okay! Please!"

"But I'm not okay," I answered, my voice shaking. "I won't be okay for a long time."

"What! What's wrong?" He rattled my luck doorknob to no avail. "Duo!" his voice was panicked.

"Tell me how you feel," I pleaded.

"I told you! We're friends!"

"But you want more, don't you? You said you'd never lie, stop lying to me, to yourself! Tell me what you want!" I yelled.

"I want you to come out so I know you're not contemplating suicide!" Wufei yelled back.

"Wu," I asked, "Please…tell me…"

"No! I can't! I can't!" he yelled.

"Why?"

"Because then I'll be late for work!" He cried. A moment, later I heard the sound of the door slamming.

"Damn you," I sobbed. "Damn you to hell!" The tears wouldn't come, they never would, so I sat there in silence, thinking.

"You've finally come out?"

I looked up. I was sitting on the couch, fiddling with the radio. "Yes, I have." I glanced back down at the radio and changed the station.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You *know*." He knelt down beside me and grasped my hands. "For disappointing you."

"You never disappoint me," I answered, gazing down at him and wishing desperately I could see him.

"I did…I couldn't say I love you."

"Do you?" I whispered, my heart stopping. Let him say yes! 

"Don't make me answer that," he whispered.

"Why?"

"It'll break your heart."

"Break…my…heart? Explain."

I could hear him walking around the room. "It won't today or tomorrow but eventually, it'd break you heart! It'd break your heart, it would kill me-dammit Duo don't make me do this!" he yelled suddenly, coming to a stop in front of me.

"Wufei?" I said, jumping to my feet. "Wufei, calm down!" I'd never seen him this worked up before…he was starting to scare me. "Wufei!"

"Forgive me," he whispered, grabbing me and pulling me to him.

"Wha-,"

The word never quite made it sway out as he pressed his lips to mine in a bruising kiss.

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

I didn't know why I was doing this. It was torture to me, to be kissing him and knowing I couldn't further it, that I would have to pretend it didn't happen.

Kissing him was far different from what I'd ever imagined. His lips were hesitant at first, and his body swayed until he was forced to grab onto me.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," I whispered, lifting my lips from his and stepping away from him. "I shouldn't have."

He blinked at me, looking unsteady on his feet. Suddenly he reached forward and slapped me. "Damn you! You tell me you don't love me and then you kiss me like that? What the hell is wrong with you! Do you or don't you?"

I stared at him. His face was white and if his eyes hadn't been so badly scarred, I knew they'd be blazing furiously at me. "I don't!"

"Then what in God's name was that kiss for? You can't kiss someone like that and expect it to mean nothing!"

"Stop it!" I yelled.

"Stop *what*?"

"Stop making me love you, it hurts to much!" I yelled back. And then, shocked by what I'd blurted out, I fled the scene and locked myself in my room, feeling much like a child again. I could hear his soft sob of a breath as he passed my room on the way to his.

Wufei you crazy fuck, what were you doing? Why did you kiss him? Why'd you tell him that? I thought to myself, over and over again. I moaned softly and slid down on the bed until I was half-hanging off of it.

What the hell is wrong with me? How can one naïve kid do this to me? 


	5. The Darkness Can't Last 5/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

_ _

I didn't move for a long time after Wufei left. I stood still, hoping he'd come back out. He didn't and I quietly went to my room.

I lay on my bed, and closed my eyes, willing sleep to come and wipe away the memories of the past week. But I didn't want to forget. I wanted to relive the brief moment he'd held me over and over again, to feel his lips on mine in a wonderfully harsh, bruising kiss.

When he'd kissed me, I felt something stir inside of me. Something that had lay still all my life, waiting for the right person to come and stir the embers, to coax it into a burning flame. Wufei had done that. He'd made me feel alive, special; attractive…I didn't want to give that up.

I sighed and got up and made my way over to the wall that separated my room from Wufei's. I strained my ears, trying to hear if he was still awake. I couldn't hear anything and I sighed loudly, before throwing myself facedown on my bed.

I awoke with a start hours later as I heard the door creak open ever so slowly. I held my breath and lay still, one thought beating restlessly on the walls of my mind. He promised he'd never touch me 

I closed my eyes and lay immobile as he crossed the room to stand beside my bed. I tried to look natural, as if I was asleep. I must have succeeded because he sighed and stooped to brush his lips against my face softly before leaving.

I lay there, wanting the tears to come for a long while afterwards.

When I got up in the morning, Wufei was already gone. Seeing as I couldn't read, he'd worked out a system so I'd know where he was. I felt around on the counter until my fingers closed over something. A coffee mug. He was at the small café he worked at part-time.

I sighed and replaced the mug before fumbling around in the breadbasket until I found the bread. I cursed myself as it took me four tries to figure out how to open the bag and put the bread in the toaster.

Finally, feeling exhausted with the simple task, I'd made myself breakfast. Rather than make a larger mess, I ate the toast plain and wiped down the counters.

After I'd made my bed and gotten dressed, there was nothing left for me to do other than listen to the radio. I sighed as I turned on the radio. I'd heard all the songs and programs, there wasn't much interest left in it. Wufei didn't have a television and it wouldn't have mattered if he did, the programs wouldn't have made sense to me without being able to see the character's actions.

After an hour or so of the radio, I made a decision. I was going to go surprise Wufei at work.

He'd shown me the way to both his jobs and drilled the phone numbers and addresses into my mind until I could repeat them in my sleep. He was making sure I'd never get lost like I had the previous week. I was slightly resentful of the fact that I couldn't even make my way to a place two blocks away, but I'd resigned myself to my fate a long time ago.

"Kid!"

I stiffened involuntarily. Relax, I told myself, It can't be him. You haven't heard anything from him in months. It's not him! 

"Kid!"

Oh shit. It is him! I panicked. What was I going to do?

"You! Kid! Duo Maxwell! Wait!"

He knows my name… I stopped suddenly. Maxwell? I'd never known my last name. I had faint hope he was yelling at some other Duo, but I knew Duo was far too unusual a name for more than one person in the city to have.

"I said WAIT!"

I turned towards the voice. I knew that voice. I recognized the anger in it. "Get lost!" I snapped.

"Doncha remember me?" He was drunk. I could smell the odor of his booze from where I stood.

"Please," I said in a soft voice, "Stay away from me."

"Grateful ain't ya? I only gave you a home, took you in when you were alone and helpless!" Any minute and he'd start crying. "Trowa and me didn't *have* to take in worthless scum like you-and after what he did to ya, how can you scorn me?"

"Go away," I said, my voice rising shrilly. I don't want anything to do with him! I'm not trash like that! 

"Kid…" There was a vast note of pleading in his voice. "Don't leave me."

He was hopeless old drunk that had hurt me and I hated him. "I will!"

"Its that foreigner! That damned foreigner! He changed you! You were always a nice kid and now look what that fucked up-,"

I hit him. "Don't! Don't talk that way about him! He's-he's-," I was fumbling for words, trying to find a biting remark.

"Oh, you're as screwed up as him," he said in disgust and shoved me off of him.

I yelped as my heel caught the curb and I stumbled backwards into the street. Heero laughed. I could hear the frantic honking of horns. I screamed.

"Wufei!"

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

_I barreled my way through the white halls, shoving people out of my way, not stopping to apologize or to retort to the nasty comments yelled after me. I had to get to Duo._

"Excuse me," I said, stopping abruptly to speak to a young woman. "Can you tell me what room Duo is in?"

"Duo?" the young woman arched an eyebrow at me. "I don't know who you mean."

"It's okay," I heard a familiar voice call. "I know who he's talking about."

I turned, "Sally," I breathed in relief. "Where is he?"

She smiled at me, "Down the hall, last door on the right."

"Thank you," I managed to say as I dashed down the hall.

I paused, standing in the doorway. He was asleep, an IV tube in his arm. I shifted my weight nervously. Will I get in trouble for staying here? 

"Take a seat Wufei. He'll be waking up shortly." I glanced over my shoulder. Sally was standing behind me.

I nodded, but didn't sit down. "Tell me what happened."

"He was hit by a car."

"Oh. My. God." I managed to gasp out.

"He's fine, slight concussion and some scrapes and stuff. Nothing to serious, but he worked himself up when he first came around-yelling your name-," she threw me a significant look, "So we gave him some sedatives."

"So he's okay?"

"Duo's blind Wufei."

"I know. I've been living with him for over three months."

"Aaa…" she smirked at me.

"Shut up. I'm not sleeping with him," I snapped, feeling myself turn red anyway.

"Which explains why you came tearing in here like a madman and wrecked havoc on your way up here?"

"I *said* shut up!" I glared at her and went to stand besides Duo's bed.

"He'll be awake in-never mind," Sally shook her head as Duo stirred.

"Fei?"

"I'm here," I said, taking the hand that didn't have wires feeding into it. "It's okay."

His eyes opened all the way. "Where the hell am I?"

"The hospital," I answered.

"Oh," he shook his head.

"He'll be less groggy in about an hour," Sally spoke up.

He turned towards her voice, "Who's that?"

"Sally. I met her a while ago when I first moved here. We're friends," I said, unconsciously tightening my grip around his hand.

"Oh…" his voice was strangely flat as he slid back down in bed. "Wu?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be back later this afternoon." Sally interrupted before exiting.

"What is it Duo?"

"I saw-or actually heard Heero before…" His voice trailed off and he gave me a wry smile. "He pushed me and I fell in front of that car."

"If you had-," I couldn't say the word, but he knew.

He withdrew his hand from mine to help pull himself to a sitting position. "When I heard the car…I knew it was going to hit me. And I screamed your name, Wufei. When I woke up, I only wanted you." His voice was quiet and he avoided looking at me, as though he was confessing a sin.

"Duo," I whispered, sitting next to him on the bed.

"I know you hate for me to say this, but Wufei, listen to me! I wanted you then because I love you and I was scared I was going to die without you. I didn't know how hurt I was or what was happening, just that I wanted you!" He said this hurriedly as if he was afraid I'd stop him before he could get it all out. As he finished, he let out a long sigh and dropped his head to his hands.

I wouldn't have stopped him. I wouldn't ever stop him again. In the split second after I'd gotten the call, I'd known. That if Duo was gone, I wouldn't have a reason to live anymore. That I'd never forgive myself knowing he'd died without knowing that I loved him. That the childish youth was the world to me.

"Duo," I whispered, unable to say anymore as I embraced him. He sat as if he was shocked at first, but slowly, tentatively wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Wufei?" My name was a soft question on his lips.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," I whispered into his ear over and over again.

Our lips met for a trembling, emotional instant and suddenly it was over.

He smiled at me and the world seemed to slide out from under my feet as he said the words I could finally accept.

"I love you Wufei."


	6. The Darkness Can't Last 6/13

_Duo's POV_

When I woke up the first thing that popped into my mind was that it was all a dream.

I couldn't believe that Wufei had said he loved me, had kissed me again…made me believe it was true. But it wasn't. I clamped a pillow over my face; half hoping it would suffocate me.

"What are you doing?" Wufei's voice was slightly amused as he pried the pillow off of me.

"Go way," I whimpered.

"Why?" he sat next to me and I unwillingly sat up.

"Because…" I mumbled.

"Give me a good reason," Wufei said, his fingers gently unbraiding my hair.

I closed my eyes against the sensuous pleasure of his hands in my hair before saying, "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what? Brushing your hair?" Wufei sounded surprised. "Because first of all, it's a rat's nest. And second of all," his voice dropped suddenly as he whispered, "Because its beautiful."

I felt a slight reddening in my cheeks at the small praise. "No…why did you even bother to take me in?"

"I felt sorry for you-"

"Oh," I shrank away from his touch. I don't want his pity. 

"At first," Wufei continued, "But after a few moments of talking with you and I had to have you close to me. If you hadn't come home with me that day, I think I would've gone crazy, wondering 'what if'. But you came home with me…and-," Wufei stopped suddenly and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his forehead against my neck. "You made me love you."

"Do you love me?" I whispered, my body freezing. If he says no again… 

"Yes." One word. One small, one-syllable word and I was melting in his arms.

Crap. I'm going to cry. I turned slightly in his arms and he touched his lips gently to mine before saying, "Are you ready?"

I clasped his hand in mine, turning it over gently before saying, "Please. Let's go home."

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

Duo was exceptionally quiet on the way home. I asked him several times what was bugging him but he wouldn't answer me, only shook his head and tightened his lips.

Finally, he said, "That doctor…before we left…she kissed you."

"On the cheek," I pointed out.

"But it was a kiss." He looked vaguely upset.

Is he jealous or something? "I told you, I've known her for years."

"Where'd you meet her?"

"First year of high school."

"And?"

"And she introduced me to her girlfriend and-,"

"Her girlfriend? She's-,"

"Yes." I smiled at him. "What were you thinking?"

He looked highly offended, "Nothing! I was just curious!"

"You were…" I paused, and then dragged the word out. "*Jealous"

"Was not! I was just curious," Duo argued, waving his hands about as words failed him.

I grinned and grabbed his hands. "Admit it. You don't like the thought of me being with anyone but you."

"Do *you* like the thought of *me*?" He demanded.

"I like the thought of you a lot," I answered, letting go of him.

"Mmph," Duo glared and refused to talk to me the rest of the way home.

"I can feel you looking at me! Do I have something hanging out of my nose or something?" Duo asked for the umpteenth time that evening, waving his hand in front of my face. "What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"Ahhhhh…" Duo looked severely flustered.

"And how lucky I am."

"Ahhhh…." A blush was spreading steadily over his face.

I stood up suddenly and walked across the table to hold him. "Wu?" he questioned me, bringing his hands up to rest lightly on my chest.

"Duo?"

"Mmm." Whatever he wanted to say was silence by my kiss. As soon as his lips were free he yawned. "Heh, sorry."

"It's eleven. You ought to be tired. In fact, you should have gone to bed hours ago. You were just out of the hospital this morning," I lectured.

"Wufei?"

"What?"

"Do me a favor and shut up."

I glared at him, but the moment of anger passed quickly and I started propelling him towards his bedroom. "*You* need to be in bed," I told him.

He stopped short and clutched my arms tightly in his hands. "Wufei, please…"

"Please what?" I asked, stopping and gazing at him concernedly. He looked so pale-and almost frightened.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"What!" I yelped my hold on him loosening.

Duo blushed, "No, not like *that*." The blush disappeared, leaving only a very pale face behind. "Wufei, you don't understand! The nightmares…they come at night and I'm so scared," his voice died down to a soft whisper as his fingers tightened around the folds of my shirt. "Wufei, they haunt me and I can't make them go away-I want to cry, but I can't, the tears don't come, and I can't scream, my voice is stuck in my throat-oh, please! Wufei," there was a vast depth of pleading in his voice as he pressed his face into my chest and breathed in short, broken gasps.

"Well, yes. Duo, why didn't you tell me about these nightmares?" I asked, lifting his face so I could look at him.

"Because you've already done so much for me and it's not that bad, I've dealt with them for years," he babbled.

"Your crazy. I would've done anything to stop them," I said, leading him into the bedroom and sitting him down on the bed.

"Wufei, you couldn't have. You can't. There are things that have happened to me that you won't ever understand and I don't expect you to. I only want you to hold me…to try and comfort me," he lowered his head and inhaled deeply.

"You know I'll do anything for you," I whispered, kneeling beside the bed and embracing him. His slight framed heaved with inward sobs and we sat like that for a long while until his body swayed and he couldn't keep his eyes focused.

"Idiot," I whispered, as I helped him under the covers. "Never to tell me this…"

"Don't go," he breathed, his hand reaching towards mine.

"I won't," I responded, grasping his hand tightly.

"Promise me…promise me always."

"I promise," I whispered. He didn't smile, as I'd half-expected only let out a soft cough and turned over onto his side. I stood there for a moment, watching him sleep. Then I slowly turned out the lights.

It felt so strange to feel a warm, living presence beside me as I got into bed awhile later. Not since I was a young child, seeking comfort in my mother's arms at night-or the disastrous night I had lost my virginity-had I had another person in my bed.

I lay stiffly besides Duo, afraid if I moved I would wake him. I needn't had to worry, Duo was a cuddler and a moment after I got in bed, he cuddled up next to me and wrapped his arms around me. His breathing was warm and tickled my neck as he nuzzled me softly. I stiffened as he pulled me closer, but after a few moments, I relaxed into his hold and placed my own arms around his waist. My eyes fluttered shut and the next thing I knew I was falling rapidly past the milky border between reality and sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was because Duo was whimpering in his sleep. He wasn't talking or crying, just whimpering, a low sound deep in his throat. "Duo?" I murmured, wondering if I should wake him up or not.

He whimpered again and his hand groped along the sheets, twisting the folds of fabric between his fingers, his knuckles turning white as his grip strengthened. His lips started moving, but I couldn't make out the mumbled words.

The sheets were becoming tangled and soaked with sweat as he tossed fretfully and he was starting to scare me. "Duo! Wake up!"

He sat up quickly and immediately flung his arms around me. "Wufei!"

"Tell me what happened," I said instantaneously. "What were you dreaming?"

Duo's fingers dug into my back s he whispered, his face buried in my neck, muffling his voice, "It's dark. And something horrible is going to happen, but I can't see it coming! And I know its there, its going to hurt me, but I can't see it and I don't know how close it is and I can feel the light, its only inches from my reach but then…the sunlight never comes and I'm running and it's all darkness and-and-Wufei!" His voice broke and he choked back a sob as his body went limp against mine.

"Oh," was the only word that I could say as I cradled his limp body to me. "Duo…"

He coughed and whispered, "Promise me you'll bring the light. The darkness can't last, promise!"

"Duo, I'll do my damnedest to make the sun shine for you again, I promise," I vowed, pressing my lips against his flushed, sweat-streaked face.

"I-I," words failed him and he only clung desperately to me.

But I knew.

_ _


	7. The Darkness Can't Last 7/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

_ _

_I was embarrassed when I woke up. It was one thing to wake up in the middle of the night, frantic from a nightmare and seek comfort but in the morning when everything seemed to fall back into perspective…oh God, did I feel stupid._

Wufei was still asleep when I woke up. His arms were wrapped tightly around my body and I didn't have the heart to pull him off of me. I wanted to run, to jump out of bed and lock myself in my room…but there was more than Wufei's arms holding me to that bed…and I knew it.

He stirred and I held my breath. What if he gets mad? "Why are you all the way over there," he asked, drawing me closer. "You're too far away."

I smiled as he kissed my forehead, all feelings of embarrassment leaving me. He loves you, you crazy idiot. He doesn't care about the nightmares. But… "Wufei?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you-," I hesitated momentarily, "Does it bother you that I'm blind?"

"No! It doesn't matter to me whether you can see or not!"

"B-,"

"Don't," Wufei interrupted. "Don't start thinking doubts." We were silent for a moment and Wufei broke it by saying, "I'm going to look for a good school this weekend and enroll you by the end of next week."

"No," I whispered, my fingers clenching into fists. "No."

"Why?" he sounded surprised. "You said you wanted to learn to read and write and-,"

"NO!" I yelled. "I don't want to!" With that, I pushed him away and ran out of the room.

He followed me. "Why? Duo, answer me!" I shook my head and stormed into the living room. Wufei followed me, snapping irritably, "Dammit Duo, talk to me!"

"No! You don't understand Wufei, you don't understand a damned thing!" I yelled back, picking up a pillow and twisting it in my hands.

"Well, maybe I *would* if you'd just EXPLAIN something to me!" he yelled back.

"You'd never understand! You don't know me! You can't understand what you don't know!"

"Of course I know you! D'you think I fell in love with you just for your body?"

"Wufei, I don't *know* why you love me, all's I know s that I'm not going to school!" I yelled, dropping the pillow and clenching my fists.

"Duo!"

My name was all he said and I fell apart. The argument was forgotten, my anger and hurt vanished and I was in his arms.

"Wu," I whispered as his lips pressed along my face.

Our lips met for a long moment and then, suddenly he tore himself away from me. "No," he whispered. "Not like this."

"Not like what?" I asked, tentatively slipping my arms around his waist.

"Not as a way to stop an argument!" he said, trying to back out of my arms.

I didn't let go. "Am I repulsive to you?"

"No!"

"Than why not?"

"Oh God," he said helplessly as I hesitantly kissed him. "Why are you doing this?"

"I love you. Isn't that reason enough?"

"Damn you!" he said suddenly and picked me up.

"Wu?!" He didn't answer, only brushed his lips against mine.

The next thing I knew, he was setting me gently down on the bed. Finally! I couldn't help thinking, a bit triumphantly. "Are you going to make love to me?" I whispered-and, this is ridiculous after the months of trying-I was a bit fearful. I'd been taken in lust, rage and passion…but never love. Love…one small word that meant the world to me. Wufei loved me. I loved him. I was ready to give him the world.

"Yes," he answered, his lips moving swiftly over my hair, my face, down to my lips. "Duo, you've driven me crazy for months…you were always there, available and willing…but I wouldn't let myself think of it!"

"Wufei, nothing's stopping you now," I whispered. I was scared…I was afraid I wouldn't satisfy him, that my body wouldn't please him.

"I know," he whispered, his lips moving down my throat.

The next few moments passed in slow motion for me. If I could see, the dim haze of passion that surrounded us would have clouded my vision. His lips were on mine, all over my body as needless clothing was shed and dropped to the floor. Soft sounds of pleasure escaped my lips as his mouth and hands made their way down my body.

He stopped suddenly and kissed my navel. "You're an innie," he announced.

"And you're crazy," I responded.

"See, an innie! Your belly button goes in," he said, his tongue delving into the hollow slightly.

I jolted at the shock his tongue sent through me. How can he do this to me? He kissed me again and I laughed slightly as he kissed my abdomen.

Suddenly his fingers were probing into the most private parts of me and I became frightened. The harsh digits of Trowa replaced the gentle touch of Wufei's hand; the punishing lips of Trowa replaced his soft kiss. His breath, warm and soft on my neck was the moist, hot panting of Trowa; the soft sounds were the short guttural groans from Trowa.

I jerked away from him and cried out, "I wish Trowa had never done me over before!"

The words had the same effect as if I'd thrown a bucket of cold water on us. "Damn him!" Wufei yelled, jumping off the bed and rushing into the bathroom. A moment later I heard the pattering rhythm of water running.

I lay on the bed, trying my best to catch my breath. As my breathing slowed and the heat of my body cooled, I tried to think. Why had I done this? I knew exactly what would happen if I said those words, and yet I had said them. I sat up, taking deep shaky breaths as I pulled my clothes on. I knew in my heart, I could never accept Wufei as my lover. There was always going to be the pain and dirt Trowa had left on me and no matter what, it was always going to be his voice I heard, his body I would feel.

I lowered my head and ran my hands through my hair. Wufei is going to be pissed at me. I tried to shrink from view as I heard the door open and Wufei step into the bedroom. "Duo?"

"Wufei, I'm sorry, I wanted you, I did, but-," I couldn't explain, only babble incessantly.

Wufei shocked me by sweeping me into a powerful embrace. "Damn that bastard! Look what he's done to you! What they've both done!"

"You're not…you're not angry?" I asked in disbelief.

"No. Of course not," Wufei said, loosening his hold on me slightly. "I shouldn't have…you weren't ready." He lowered his head until it was resting on my shoulder. "Duo, I'm sorry."

"No, I wanted it just as much." He nodded against my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

After a long moment, he asked, "Why won't you go to school?"

"Don't go there!"

"Duo!"

"Wufei!"

Both of us glared at each other and it was impossible to have any more serious discussion that day.


	8. The Darkness Can't Last 8/13

Wufei's POV

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

_I couldn't understand why Duo refused to let me enroll him in school. He'd seemed so eager to learn and now…he seemed to grow upset and angry with me at even the mere mention of the word._

So finally, I just went and enrolled him with or without his consent. Damned if I was going to let his stubbornness keep him from getting an education he deserved.

"You WHAT?" Duo yelled at me.

"I enrolled you in school. You can start on Monday," I said matter-of-factly.

"No! I'm not going!" Duo snapped and whirled around so he wasn't facing me.

I sighed and stepped up behind him, placing my hands on his shoulders and turning him around. "Please, Duo. Tell me why you won't go."

"Leave me alone," he ordered, but without any real feeling or conviction.

"Tell me!"

"No!"

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, before saying in exasperation, "Well, if you don't give me a reason, then you're going!"

"You'll have to drag me with bodily force!"

"You know I will!"

"Damn you!" Duo cried and raised his fisted hands as if he were going to hit me. Instead, he rested them on my chest and leaned into them, his thin frame racked with sobs that never fell.

"Duo?" I asked in puzzlement as I embraced him to me.

"Wufei, I'm so tired. Please, let the subject drop," he whispered, even as his arms wrapped around my neck and drew me closer.

"Duo…" I wanted desperately to just forget everything and to just put him to bed, but I *needed* to know. "Just give me a reason, even its something stupid like you don't want to do homework."

He smiled wryly and said, "Your right. It is stupid."

"And?" I pressed.

Duo sighed and jerked himself out of my arms. He exhaled loudly as paced the apartment before finally collapsing in a kitchen chair. "Do you know what I grew up with?" Duo asked as I entered the kitchen after him.

"Well-yeah," I said in surprise.

"No you don't. You know about the ra-Trowa and you know how Heero treated me. But you only know the physical end of it." Duo took a deep breath as he continued quietly, "Wufei, I'm afraid to go to school. All my life I've been called stupid, shiftless, a worthless piece of shit." He spat each word out as if it was dirt in his mouth. "All my life…never once did I hear anything kind. Not even to each other. Wufei, I heard their most intimate moments and the things they would call each other," Duo shook his head, than looked up at me. "Wufei, it's horrible to have live with that."

Duo sighed and lay his head down on his folded arms on the table, "The day I met you…I was trying to leave. Just for one day, to spend the day in the sunlight and fresh air, away from the foulness that haunted our apartment. The things I was called…just because of my face. Because I was blind." He swallowed audibly before continuing, "Freak. Retard. Reject. Disgusting. Even…one kid, he sounded around six or seven called me a monster. A monster, Wufei, a monster! Sure it's only a kid-but to be called a monster just because of your physical appearance, of a handicap you can't help! It's prejudice Wufei, and I hate it!"

"Duo," I broke into his painful recount. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it seemed stupid! Like me! That damned prejudice, it's torn every last shred of self-respect and pride from me! I have nothing left now that they've torn my integrity to shreds and stomped on it. That's why I can't go, Wufei! I can't go through the insults, the rejection, all of the repulsion again! I can't do it"! His voice rose, as he finished, "I won't do it I won't let you put me through that kind of humiliation again!"

"Duo," I whispered, kneeling beside him in his chair. "Don't degrade yourself like this. Don't!"

"Don't you get it Wufei?" He laughed bitterly even as I wrapped my arms around his waist and drew him near. "It's not me. It's people! People just like us! They're the ones who've made me feel like this-like this piece of dirt!"

It frightened me to hear Duo speak like this. I'd never seen him so full of pain or hatred before. "Stop it Duo! Stop it! You're better than this! You're better than all this hate!" I ordered, my hands clasping tightly around him.

He slid off his chair to kneel in front of me, still in my embrace. "Wufei, I won't let the little bit of pride I have left be taken from me!"

"You have so much more than pride," I cried. "You have a sort of inner strength most people will never have! I know I won't and I envy you for it Duo! Yes, I envy you! Look at yourself Duo! How many people do you think would have risen above the horrible conditions you've lived in, would have been able to escape that hellhole like you did! Duo, if it weren't for your strength you never would have left the apartment that afternoon and I never would have met you!" I stopped suddenly and trembled as I clasped him tightly to me. "If I had never met you…" Neither one of us could speak anymore, his hands were moving over my face and hair tremblingly and his lips were on mine for a long moment.

As we parted, he whispered, "Wufei, can we just-go to bed?"

I nodded heavily as we got to our feet. "Bed…that's a good idea."

That night as I was just on the edge of sleep, I felt Duo's arms wrap around me and his voice in my ear a she whispered. "Wufei, I love you."

"Love you too," I mumbled sleepily, rolling over and kissing him.

"…I'll…go to school for you Wufei."

"No, you'll go for *you*," I said firmly, kissing him again.

And that was the end of it.


	9. The Darkness Can't Last 9/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

_ _

_I went to school._

It wasn't like I imagined, everyone there except the teachers were blind or had severe vision problems. It was a shock to be with people who understood what it was never to see the light…and yet, it felt so *right*. There was another boy there who had also lost his sight in a fire, his name was Quatre and he had an extremely bright outlook on life. It was almost sad to hear his optimistic views about the world. If I was naïve than Quatre was downright stupid.

Then, the highlight of my schooling career came not even a month after I started.

"He-," the word wasn't even out of Wufei's mouth before I threw myself at him, nearly knocking him to the floor.

"Wufei, Wufei, guess what!"

"Wh-,"

"I read today!" I yelled, dropping to my knees and rifling through my schoolbooks. Once I had the book I wanted, I lay it on the kitchen table, flipping through pages until I found the page I wanted. "It's part of a poem, listen!"

Wufei walked around the table to rest his hand on my shoulder and watch as I felt the raised bumps and read, my voice trembling, "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood/

And sorry I could not travel both/And be one traveler/long I stood/And looked down as far as I could/To where it bent in the undergrowth…" I stopped, unable to continue. "It's called-,"

"The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost," Wufei said softly. Suddenly I was in his arms as he whispered, "Duo, you can read!"

I was shocked by the amount of emotion in his voice. "Wufei, thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me go," I whispered, kissing him lightly. "It's because of you I learnt how."

"I think you would've done it on your own," he said gruffly but I knew he was smiling as he kissed me back.

After a few more moments of kissing, I was surprised as Wufei lifted me up and whispered, "Duo, I'm tired of waiting!"

"Me too," I whispered back as if in a trance.

Next thing I knew we were standing in the doorway of our bedroom, lips moving over each other's in a hungry, wanting movement. My eyes widened as I felt the alien warmth of his tongue invade my mouth but the unnatural feeling vanished and the only thing I wanted was *him*.

It was getting to intense for me, standing in the doorway, lips touching and hands moving over bodies. So I said the first thing that popped into my mind, "Take off your shirt."

"You're blunt," Wufei remarked, but I could hear the amusement in his voice. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I heard him carefully fold the shirt up and set it on a chair.

"You're a neat freak," I said, as he returned to me, kissing my neck softly. I sighed and ran my hands over his chest, reveling in the well-defined muscles beneath my fingers. "You're an innie too," I announced as my hands passed over the small indentation. I felt a tremor overtake his body as my hands continued their exploration, my fingers discovering every indent and curve of his body.

"Duo," he breathed, picking me up again and moving towards the bed.

"Wufei," I responded, sliding down on the bed beneath him.

"Are you…are you sure?" He whispered, his lips touching my face and neck as his hands slipped under my shirt and caressed my heated flesh.

"Yes," I answered, sitting up slightly and aiding him in removing my shirt, "Yes!"

"Mmm…" A low rumble, almost a purr issued from Wufei's lips as he kissed me again. His hands explored my body with quick gentleness and his lips moved down, over my chest and abdomen.

I jolted again as his tongue flecked into dimple of my navel. He saw my jolt of pleasure and kissed me again. "You taste good," he whispered.

"You make me feel good," I whispered back.

A few more moments of kissing and he whispered, "Duo…"

"Please," I whispered, closing my eyes. "Please Wufei, make the sun shine!"

He understood because only moments later we were naked, breathing heavy and heated skin rubbing against each other's erotically.

"Duo," he whispered, his hands tracing every inch of my body. "You're beautiful."

"I wish I could see what you look like," I cried fretfully, turning my face away so his lips caught my ear rather than my lips.

A moment later, he was bringing my hands to his face. "Duo, this is the only way you can see," he whispered.

"You want me to touch you?" I whispered, my hands dropping.

"Duo, I *need* your touch," he answered, kissing my hands as he brought them back to his face.

So I gave it to him. I let my hands trace his body, caress, fondle, bring soft cries from both of us as he returned the gentle touch.

As he moved his heated center against mine, he whispered, his voice a groan, "Duo, we should stop now-before we go to far."

"Can we do more?" I whispered, arching up against him.

He moaned softly before answering, "Oooh…yes, we can do more!"

"Than let's do it," I whispered.

"Duo!" I knew his eyes were wide with surprise.

"Wufei! I want you!"

"Duo, what about-,"

"Wufei, I need you to take away the dirt Trowa left on me!" We were still thrusting against each other and I wasn't sure if my voice was becoming a sob from that or the need to know sex could be good for me, a way to express love rather than a violent, hateful act.

"You're-you're sure?"

"Yes!" I practically screamed, grasping onto his upper arms, my fingertips digging into his hard flesh. "Yes, Wufei, yes!"

"Duo," he breathed kissing me softly, before rolling over and finding something in a drawer.

"What's-oh," I flushed as I recognized the odor of it as he opened the small container. I hadn't lived in the home of a whore for nothing-I knew what lube was and what it was used for.

"I love you," Wufei whispered, kissing my collarbone as he adjusted our positions.

"Love you too," I whispered, closing my eyes and hoping the horrible pain I still associated with sex wouldn't follow me here.

I tensed as I felt his finger penetrate me gently. "Duo? We can stop if it hurts in anyway," Wufei whispered concernedly.

"No…it's cold," I whimpered.

I could almost hear his smile as another finger joined the first, "Relax Duo. It'll be better for you if you do."

"Oh," I whispered, relaxing against his hand. "Oh!" I cried a few moments later, rocking against his hand. "Wufei-!"

"Duo," he managed to say his breathing harsh and ragged in my ear. "Oh, God, Duo!"

I closed my eyes suddenly, preparing myself for the harsh, ripping pain. But there was only a slight bit, much less than I'd expected. And soon surpassing the pain was pleasure. Wild, reckless pleasure that ripped through us as we moved together on that messed-up sweaty bed, breathing loud and irregular, soft cries issuing from both our lips.

At last, I couldn't take anymore, the intense pleasure building up inside of me found its release as I cried out, shuddering beneath Wufei the force of my climax. Only moments later, Wufei shuddered behind me, his voice a deep guttural sound in my ear as he reached his pinnacle. Still gasping for breath, we fell separated down among the sheets of the bed, bodies still carrying a fine sheen of sweat.

After a few moments of lying in quiet, Wufei rolled over and whispered gently, pressing his lips tenderly against mine, "Do you regret any of it?"

"N," I cried fervently as soon as my lips were free. "Not a moment of it! It was like-it almost like seeing the sun for a short moment!"

"Duo!" Wufei cried suddenly, burying his face in my neck. "Duo, I love you!"


	10. The Darkness Can't Last 10/13

Wufei's POV

_Wufei's POV_

After that night changes took place.

For the first time in my life, I was jealous. I'd grown used to having Duo drop everything the moment I entered a room to greet me and I'd grown used to his incessant animated chatter. But now…

There was school.

I was happy for Duo, I really was glad he was so involved in his studies. But that didn't make the jealous feeling subside when he'd laugh suddenly and then wave at my confused expression, explaining that it was only a 'inside joke that happened at school'. I hated it. He had homework now and that alone took him farther away from me. Now, when he spoke to me, it was to ask a question about his schoolwork, not to just talk because he enjoyed the companionship it brought on. And he had friends.

One friend in particular.

His name was Quatre. I liked Quatre. He was warm and friendly, the kind of guy who was friends with everyone, the kind you couldn't help but like. But I did *not* like his involvement with Duo. He had a crush on Duo-on *my* Duo. I could tell Quatre felt more than friendship for Duo. It wasn't difficult to figure out, the blond had an extremely expressive face. But Duo couldn't see his face.

But I could.

And I didn't like what I saw.

"You like Duo, don't you?" I was surprised to hear my own voice one afternoon when Quatre had come over to work on a group project the two had been assigned together.

"We're friends," Quatre said quietly, his head bowed low over the book he was holding tightly in his hands. Duo had gotten up to find a book he'd left in our room and it was just the two of us sitting out in the kitchen.

"Is that all?" I whispered, my hands clenching tightly into fists.

"Yes," his voice was growing lower and his face was growing redder by the minute. I sighed and let my hands relax. Quatre looked up suddenly, his face returning slowly to its normal color. "You needn't be worried. Duo won't ever stop loving you. You're all he talks about. You're not with us during school hours but I am. I hear his tone when he mentions you; I hear the adoration in his voice when he says your name. He's got this kind of…I don't want to say worship…maybe it's more like admiration but whatever it is, its in his voice when he mentions how he met you."

"But you," I whispered, sliding down slightly in my seat.

"I don't decide who I have feelings for. But I can decide to let those feelings show or not," Quatre said, his head bowing again. "Please don't tell him about what I said. I want to be his friend…and as long as he loves you, that's all I want to be."

"Thank you," I whispered, breathing deeply.

"Why you both so quiet?" Duo asked a moment later, returning with the desired book held over his head triumphantly. "Usually I can't shut either of you up," he continued, dropping into his chair.

"No reason," I said, getting up.

"Wu?"

"I have a headache," I said shortly, preparing to leave.

"Well if you'd *listen* to me and take out that stupid ponytail…" Duo's voice trailed off as I left. He doesn't get it, does he? 

"Hey, Wufei, you okay?" Duo's voice was concerned as he slid into the bed besides me, brushing his hand tentatively against my arm.

"Yeah," I said brusquely, throwing his hand off.

"Okay," Duo's voice was hurt as he withdrew his hand and rolled over, putting as much distance between us as possible without leaving the bed.

Out of the darkness, I said softly, "Have you ever been jealous?"

"Hell yeah."

He doesn't understand. He doesn't get what I mean. "Good night Duo."

"Night Wu…fei."

Hearing him tack the formal ending onto my name hurt more than anything.

"No! Absolutely not!" I snapped.

"Why not?" Duo cried.

"There's not enough room!"

"What are you talking about? He can stay in my old room!"

"I can't be responsible for both of you!"  
"We're not a couple of ten-year-olds! I think we can take of ourselves!"

"But-,"

"But we're blind?" Duo's voice dripped with bitter irony. "Who can forget the fact that we're *blind*? I know I can't."

"No! That's not what I meant!' I cried out in protest.

"Mmmhmm." God damn that doubting voice of his.

"It's not! Why does he need a place to stay anyway? I thought he was rooming with someone!"

Duo fidgeted uncomfortably, "Ah, he is."

"And?"

"And the guy he's staying with has a girlfriend who's coming up for a weekend and-," Duo let the sentence hang.

"He wants Quatre out so he and his girlfriend can be alone?"

"Yeah…anyway the girlfriend doesn't like people who are blind-or have any kind of disability. She thinks we're 'freaks'." Duo spat the word out and looked at me expectantly.

Freaks…I'd kill her if I could. "So…I should let him stay here?" I threw the question back at him.

"No. I'm *telling* you he's going to stay here. I live here too and I think I have the right to-,"

"Fine!" I interrupted. "Just peachy-keen!"

"Peachy-keen?" Duo repeated the word in puzzlement as I stormed out of the room. "Wufei, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?"

"Oh just shut up," I snapped and left him, face screwed up in hurt bewilderment as I left the room.

He followed me, repeating his question. "Wufei? Tell me what's wrong! Did I do something? Did I hurt you?"

I whirled around and cried out angrily, "Duo, you told me that I don't understand you. That I never would. Well, this time you don't understand me!"

"But-,"

"But what? You love me? I love you? Love can't make up for not understanding each other!"

"Wu…" that plaintive note in his voice…it was driving me insane.

"What is it Duo?" I sighed, turning away from him and gazing out the window. The brick wall of the building next to ours met my eyes. I hate the city. 

"You can't love someone without knowing them. And you can't know someone without understanding them." It was so logical. And yet, it made no sense. Like Quatre had said, you couldn't choose who you had feelings for. And you could have feelings for someone you barely knew…let alone understood.

"Listen to me Duo," I said, swallowing painfully. "I don't know what its like to be you. Surrounded by constant darkness, ever searching for that bit of light. I don't know what its like. I can't understand that-or you."

"Stop it!"

I didn't stop. "But someone else knows what its like. Someone else understands you far better than I ever could!"

"I don't love Quatre, God dammit! I love *you* although I'm wondering why at the moment."

He glared. I quavered. "Oh God, Duo!"

"Are you trying to tell me you don't have feelings for me anymore?" Duo's voice rose and broke on the last word.

"No! No! Duo, I love you!"

"Than why all this…" Duo waved his hands futilely.

"Because I thought it would be better for you. I wanted you to be happy" I whispered, capturing the fluttering hands in my own and kissing them gently.

"Oh…" his tone was soft as he embraced me suddenly. "Wufei, don't do that again," he whispered, pressing his lips gently against my neck. "Don't try to be all noble and selfless. Be selfish and greedy."

"Don't worry," I whispered, embracing him tighter. "I am."

His mouth jerked into a slight smile as I kissed him.


	11. The Darkness Can't Last 11/13

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

Wufei was drifting away from me. I could tell from his harsh voice, his refusal to be touched, his very attitude. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong and I feared I was losing him. But I wasn't going to let go. I wasn't going to let him leave. Not now. Not ever.

"Wufei?" I called, standing in the middle of the living room. He wasn't making any noise and I didn't know where he was.

"Here." His voice echoed from the back of the apartment, he was in the bedroom.

I made my way across the apartment until I was in the bedroom. "Whatcha doing?" I asked, trying to keep my voice casual. Why aren't you with me? 

"Reading."

"Oh…what are you reading?"

"A sci-fi novel."

"Which one?"

"War of the Worlds."

"Oh." I stood uneasily in the doorframe for a while. Why is it so hard? Why can't we be the way we always are? *Together*. 

"Did you want something?" His voice jerked me back to reality.

"No, not really. I just wanted to be with you," I answered, moving to sit besides him on the bed. "You don't talk to me much anymore…" I continued, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe I don't have as much to say anymore," he responded, edging away very slightly, very discreetly.

"Wufei!"

"What!"

"Why won't you let me touch you anymore? Why don't you want me to hold you anymore? Did I do something? Are you mad? Or are you just tired of me?"

"No! None of that!"

"Than *why*?" I demanded, sitting up and moving away from him. I wish I could see! 

"Because I…because of someone…" he said vaguely, picking up his book.

"Someone?" my voice was strangely high-pitched. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Nothing!" He rattled the book loudly.

"Coward. You'd rather read your stupid book than talk to me and tell me what's going on," I snapped. "Put down the book Wufei and tell me what's going on!"

"Nothing's going on!"

"Something *has* to be going on! Other wise you wouldn't be so-uptight!"

"You want to know what's going on? Go ask Quatre!" Wufei snapped back, his temper flaring up at me.

"Quatre? What's he got to do with any of this?" I asked, my mind racing. "You and Quatre-don't tell me you two have got-," my voice rose in hysteria. "It's *true* isn't it? Isn't it!"

"Duo!" Wufei shouted, jumping to his feet as I tore out of the room. "Dammit!" I heard the hollow sound of his book hitting the floor as he jumped to his feet.

"Just go away," I cried as he caught up with me. "Go away unless you want to tell me what's happening to us!"

"I'll tell you what's happening," Wufei shouted, grasping me by the arms and turning me around forcefully. "I'm jealous!"

"What?" I asked, trying to wrench myself out of his hurtful grip.

His hands tightened on my arms and he shook me, "You heard me! I'm jealous! I'm insanely jealous of Quatre and your school!"

"What?" I gasped. "Jealous?"

"Yes! Duo, don't you understand? You're changing and you're starting to leave me behind! And…it hurts…" His grip on me loosened slightly. "It hurts so much Duo…"

"Then why do you shut me out? If you're afraid of losing me…why do you push me away?"

"Because you'd be better off with someone else. Someone like Quatre."

"No! No I wouldn't! I wouldn't!" I repeated again and again, curling my hands into fists.

"You would! You'd be understood-and you'd understand him-and you'd have so much more in common-and-and," Wufei's voice broke and he stopped talking, just standing there clutching my arms in his hands.

" And I'd be miserable. Wufei, I don't *care* if Quatre's got the same past as me. I don't *care* if he knows what its like to be surrounded by darkness. I don't *care* if he's the King! The only one I care about is you! You Wufei, you're better for me than anyone else because you're different from me! Wu-," My words were cut off by his swift kiss.

"I don't deserve you," he murmured, as our lips separated. "But damned if I'm letting you go."

"I won't let you let me go," I said, smiling faintly.

"Then it's a win-win situation, 'ne?" he whispered, kissing me again, more forcefully this time before leading me to our bedroom.


	12. The Darkness Can't Last 12/13

Wufei's POV

_Wufei's POV_

_ _

__"Wufei?" A soft voice whimpered in my ear and a pair of hands sought out mine in the night. "You awake?"

"Yeah," I grunted and rolled over so I was facing Duo. "What is it?"

"A nightmare…" his fingernails dug themselves into the palm of my hand as he held my hands tighter.

"The old one?" I whispered, sitting up and embracing him.

"No," he responded, his voice muffled against my neck. "No, a new one."

"Tell me," I instructed, still holding him.

He sat back a little, still in the circle of my arms though, and said quietly, "It's horrible, Wufei. There's a fire-and I'm out of it with Quatre-but *you're* stuck in it and-and its too late and-," Duo stopped suddenly and covered his face with his hands. "Wufei…I dreamed you were *dead*!"

"But I'm not," I said, as gently as I could. "I'm here…and so are you…neither one of us is going to die any time soon."

"But it was so real…" Duo whimpered, his hands reaching up and touching my face. "…so real…"

I reached up and grasped his wrists as he caressed my face, "But it was a *dream*. We're both fine, there's no fire-,"

"I hate fire," Duo interrupted abruptly, his hands moving down my face and neck, caressing my shoulders and chest.

"I know," I whispered back, a slight shiver descending down my spine as he continued tracing circular patterns across my chest and abdomen. 

"You're shivering-are you cold?" Duo whispered, a slightly coy smirk playing at his features.

"Aren't you tired yet?" I responded, leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Never tired of you," he murmured, touching my lips lightly with his fingertips before replacing his fingertips with his lips.

"What about that nightmare?" I asked, even as his hands wandered beneath my shirt.

"What nightmare?" he threw me a slightly evil grin.

"Idiot," I grumbled, pinning him to the bed beneath me.

"Let go of me!"

"No, I kinda like having you at my mercy." Now it was my turn for the slightly evil grin.

He glared at me and stuck his tongue out. "Yeah? Well…uh, well…" he stumbled for a retort.

"Admit you're beat," I murmured, kissing him lightly.

He responded to the kiss, than pushed me away. "I will not!"

"Fine," I let him go and rolled over, prepared to go back to sleep.

"Hey!" Duo yelped and sat up. "You can't do that!"

"I just did, didn't I?"

"Jerk," he fumed at me, fumbling in the sheets until he found his pillow and gave me a good smack with it.

"Hey!"

He smirked at me and I lunged for him, pinning him across the bed. "Hey! That's not fair, you can SEE! You got the upper hand," Duo squawked in outrage as I removed the pillow from his hand and left him pressed down in the mattress.

"And *you* hit me with a pillow."

"So?"

"So…I'm going to…" I paused for a moment, deciding what I wanted to say.

"Aw, would ya be quiet and kiss me?" I laughed and leaned down to fulfill his request.

When I lifted my lips away from his, I was surprised to hear a small sob escape his lips. "Duo?" I whispered, sitting up.

He closed his eyes and lay there limply for a moment. "Wufei…"

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too…but what's wrong Duo?" I whispered, shifting my weight from side to side.

"Nothing." The response was so quiet I barely heard it. Suddenly, Duo bounced up and cried, taking the upper hand and pinning me down into the pillows. 'Wufei, please! Make love to me!"

I gaped at him. Duo had always been rather…*straightforward* about sex, but had never outright asked for it… "Are you okay?" I said, feeling his forehead suspiciously.

"Stop being stupid! Wufei, I need you! Please, don't make me beg!" There was a vast depth of pleading in his voice I couldn't ignore.

"Duo…"

"Please!"

"Your crazy, love," I whispered, sitting up and kissing him warmly on the lips.

He smiled quietly as our lips parted. "You called me love. You never use any affectionate nicknames…"

"Feel honored," I whispered in his ear, running my hands hungrily beneath his shirt. "You sure you're not sick? You're burning up…"

"Fei!" I laughed and was startled as he literally pounced on me and held me fast against the mattress.

"Duo!" I cried in shock as his hands moved swiftly down my chest, ridding my body of clothing as he did so.

"Shh. Just enjoy the ride," he said, smiling slightly, leaning over to kiss me. Still a little unsettled, I lay back as his hands moved swiftly over my chest, tracing long teasing patterns against my bare skin.

"You're aggressive tonight," I murmured as his lips joined his hands. "Ah!' I cried in pleased surprise as he nipped fiercely at my skin.

"I haven't just been lying there every other night," he said in a low voice, his breath sending shivers down my spine as it caressed my skin. "I've been learning…"

"I must be a good teacher," I said, smiling slightly. "Ah! Duo!" I jolted as his tongue flecked into my navel and over my thighs… "Duo!" I cried again, writhing underneath him.

He smiled and kissed me softly on my mouth. "Haven't I told you I'm a fast learner?"

Somewhere in the struggle he had lost his clothing and I wondered vaguely which one of us had removed them. "No-gah! Do you *have* to be so damned slow?"

"Ye-es," his voice was so low it was practically a purr. His hands were slow, deliberate, touching everywhere but the one place I was almost screaming to be touched. "Wufei, I can almost see you." His voice was strangely wistful.

"Don't!" I yelped. "Don't start being depressed because I am *seriously* not in a position to comfort you!"

He laughed briefly and brushed feather-light kisses across my forehead and down my face, kisses so soft I barely felt them. He straddled my hips and inquired curiously even as his fingers danced across my torso. "Can we do it this way?"

"Yes," I breathed out. 'We can do it anyway you want!"

"Okay…" he seemed to actually be considering the subject before leaning across and over me. A moment later, he was back in place, his fingers fumbling as he struggled to open the small tube. "Gotcha," he murmured.

I shivered beneath his touch and thrusted up eagerly into it. The small tube rolled off of the bed and onto the floor. A sharp shattering sound pierced through our senses and he chided me; "Your fault this time. You get to clean it up."

I gave a sort of half laugh, unable to draw the breath for a full laugh. "Later. I'm kinda preoccupied at the moment."

"Me too," he murmured, his hands sliding back up my body and cupping my face as he kissed me.

"Oh! Duo! I-I-," the words didn't make it out of my mouth as the shattering pleasure of my release span around me. I was faintly aware of Duo's own climax but I couldn't seem to think or see straight as he fell down beside me on the bed.

"I should be aggressive more often," Duo mumbled, stealing an arm around my waist sleepily.

"I didn't teach you any of *that*," I said, unable to do much more than smile at him. "Duo?"

Another smile spread over my face. He'd fallen asleep without a word. "Idiot," I whispered affectionately, kissing him softly before closing my own eyes.


	13. The Darkness Can't Last 13/13 a.k.a. THE...

Duo's POV

_Duo's POV_

The fear the nightmare had left lingered for weeks, but it never came back and eventually, I almost forgot about it. Almost, but not quite. And then…

Quatre was at the apartment again and to his and Wufei's amusement, I couldn't keep my eyes open for longer than five minutes. Eventually, I must have fallen asleep amid the gentle teasing because the next thing I knew, I was being shaken violently and Wufei was whispering urgently, "Duo! Duo, wake up!"

"Wha-?" I yawned and batted his hand away from me. "Lea'm'lone, I wanna sleep," I mumbled, already closing my eyes again.

There was an unmistakable note of panic in his voice, 'Duo! Wake up!"

My eyes flew open. Since when was Wufei *panicked*? He could be cautious and worried, but never *panicked*. No, Wufei always was able to maintain a level head in most situations…so what was going on? "Wu?" I questioned timidly, almost afraid of his answer. "What's going on."

"Nothing," he answered shortly. "We just need to get you out of the apartment!"

"Why? Wufei, answer me!" I cried loudly, even as I got to my feet. His arms wrapped around my waist, propelling me forward against my will.

"Just keep walking," he hissed in my ear.

"Wufei!" I yelped sharply. "What in God's name are you doing?"

"Getting you to safety," he answered curtly, kneeing me in the leg. "C'mon, keep moving!"

What Wufei hadn't counted on was the fact that my mind always went to the worst of things and that being blind for almost fourteen years had heightened the rest of my senses. "Wu…" The nightmare came flashing back, alongside it the horror of losing my sight all those years ago. "Wu, there's not a *fire* is there."

"No! Of course not!" His quick intake of breath and slight hesitation before answering contradicted him.

I went rock-solid, freezing in motion in the middle of the hallway. "Not a fire. I can stand anything but that. A fire destroyed my sight Wufei, did you know that?" Despite that paralyzing fear, a carefree laugh somehow managed to escape my lips. "A fire, Wufei! A fire killed my sight, left me these scars…and also, in some freakish way, led me to you! Wufei, was that fire the best thing or the worst thing to happen to me?"

"Duo!" Wufei cried in frustration. "Now's *not* the time!"

"Answer me! Was that fire good or bad?" my voice was a muffled shriek as I smelt something that smelled familiarly like smoke. Not a fire. Not again. Anything but a fire. 

"If that's the reason I met you, than yes, it was the best God-damned thing that ever happened to either of us! Duo, I love you!" And then, even though there were people milling around us, trying to get out, the smell of smoke was heavy in the air, and there was a distinct crackling of flames in the distance, he kissed me.

It was the kind of kiss that stops Time and leaves you aching for more, while a strange feeling of fulfillment fills you. The type that leaves tears streaming down your cheeks and your lips in a smile. The kind that you remember forever and can always replay as vividly as the moment it was given in your mind. *That* was the way Wufei kissed me.

When his lips were parted from mine, I ran my tongue over my lips lightly, tasting the dull saltiness that coated them. I gazed at him questioningly. "Wu…are you crying?"

"Duo, I'm sorry," he whispered, and threw out his hands.

"Wufei"! I shrieked, as I lost my balanced and toppled. I was rolling down the stairs, screaming his name both as a plea for help and as a furious curse. When I hit the first landing, I jumped to my feet, angry as hell and prepared to give Wufei the biggest chewing out of his life. And than it hit me.

He knows you're too scared to move-so he made you move, knowing you'd be to angry to remember fear! I blinked stupidly for a moment and stared into the well-known darkness. Well duh! a small voice added nastily.

"Wu," I whispered helplessly, before turning around and fumbling for the railing, hoping that I wasn't headed directly into the fire.

_Wufei's POV_

My breathing was harried as I started down the stairs. I hadn't wanted to do that to Duo, but at the rate he was going, it was better for him to being steaming mad at me than dying because he couldn't move for fear in the fire.

The fire… The words echoed in my mind and I shook my head, still incredulous. How had a fire started? A sudden thought hit me and I stood trembling for a moment.

Duo had dreamed about a fire…"Stop!" I spoke out loud, trying to drive the feelings of overwhelming loneliness away. "Don't think anymore! Just-just *go*!" With a firm shake of my head, I started down the stairs again, taking two steps at a time.

Thank God Duo made it, I though not even fifteen minutes later when I caught sight of the familiar chestnut braid with the straggling hairs around his face. I started towards him when a horrified thought hit me.

QUATRE! I LEFT HIM IN THERE! I clamped a hand over mouth to keep the scream of rage in as I turned towards the building. My stomach lurched as I viewed the towering flames and I was sick, falling to my knees and vomiting as quietly as I could in the bushes.

I stood up though, and moved slowly towards the building. The recollection of Duo's nightmare and my own fear of being too late for Quatre haunted me with each step.

I found Quatre moving down the stairway, his hands clutched to the rail. His face was twisted into a horrible expression of fear and determination as he felt cautiously for each foothold and grasp of the hand, holding his breath with each step.

"Quatre?" I called, hoping I wouldn't scare him and cause him to let go of the rail and fall or something.

"That you Wufei?" he called back, squinting as if that would help him see.

"Yeah," I answered, jumping up lightly on the step next to him and catching hold of his upper arm. "I can't believe I missed you-,"

"It's okay. I was doing just fine," he insisted.

"You were," I agreed, not feeling up to an argument about his capabilities. From experience with Duo, I knew that was touchy subject and frankly, this was *not* the time to deal with a sensitive teen.

"Thank you for coming back," he whispered suddenly, grasping my arm. "I was lying. I wasn't doing fine. I was doing horrible."

"Hush," I hissed. "You're going to jinx us!" I wasn't sure if I was joking or not and evidently neither was Quatre because he sort of half smiled at me as we made our way down.

I saw it before he was even aware of it. The fire had been eating away at a support beam and it was going to fall…

"Quatre, get out of the way!" I cried, trying to push him along with me. He turned and gave me a puzzled look.

His stopping is what saved him because I had miscalculated where the beam was going to fall.

"WUFEI!"

I couldn't decipher who was calling me, Duo or Quatre. It was all so vague…

_Duo's POV_

I was biting my nails the whole time the team of firefighters worked to save the building. Who cared about the building when Quatre and Wufei were in there?

"Wufei," I sobbed quietly into my hands.

Nearby, a voice I didn't recognize said kindly, "There, there, everything will be find. Almost everyone is out and they have it under control."

I whirled around and snapped at her, "ALMOST? What do you *mean* almost? Almost isn't everyone! Almost means Wufei-*my* Wufei is in there and he might be dying and you think *almost* is good enough? Get the hell out of my way, you're disgusting!"

I didn't get a chance to hear her reaction; I was pushing past her and trying to get t the building. I'd never wanted to cry, to see so badly as I did then. The tears wouldn't fall and it hurt so bad to keep them pent up inside. And worst of all, I couldn't see.

Couldn't see if Wufei or Quatre had made it out. Couldn't see if they had died. Couldn't even see if I myself was hurt! The only thing I could do was fumble through the darkness, choke back sobs that would never find release and call in a hoarse broken voice, "Wufei?"

"Duo? You're here!" A tired, and yet pleased voice called.

"Quatre?" I managed to croak out. "Where's Wufei?"

I knew what had happened before he spoke. "Is he-is he-?"

"I don't know," Quatre whispered miserably. "He was with me and I could hear something heavy fall and I screamed for him…but than there was someone else leading me out, and I didn't know what happened. Oh, Duo, I'm so sorry, but I didn't know where I was or where he was or-oh, Duo!"

I turned away from him, my mouth going dry and my blood running cold in apprehension. It couldn't be. Quatre had just lost track of Wufei that was all. Nothing to worry about. He'd be here any minute, embracing me form behind and kissing my neck. He'd be apologetic for pushing me and I'd snap at him. Everything would be all right. Everything would be all right, it would! "Wufei! I'm over here, Wufei!" I cried, pushing myself through the crowds and away from Quatre.

"Duo? Is there a Duo out here?" a foreign voice cried loudly above the blur of the people.

"Yes! Yes!" I screamed. "I'm him!"

"Do you know this man?" the voice, now I recognized it as man, called.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "I'm blind! I can't see him!"

"Oh…" a low murmur ran through the crowd and I heard him make his way over to me. "Come with me and see-erm-uh, yeah, see I guess, if you can identify him."

I knew who it was before I even reached his side. The moment I had heard the stranger's voice shout my name, I'd known. "Wu?" I whispered, reaching out and fumbling through thin air until someone kindly guided my hands down to touch his face. "Wu?" I repeated, sinking to my knees beside him.

"Duo?"

"I'm here," I whispered, caressing his face in a trembling motion. It was horrible, there was ash and dirt, and maybe…it was! There was blood trickling down his face. "Oh Wufei, my Wufei, I-,"

"I'm going to die Duo."

"Don't! Don't say that! You're going to be all right, I'm gonna take care of you and we're going to be together forever! You know that, right Wufei?" I cried, reaching for his hands and clasping them. "We're going to be all right, you hear me Wufei?" I demanded, kissing his hands and wrists gently.

A feeble laugh. "You'll be fine Duo. You're stronger, braver than you know."

"Wufei," I whispered, dropping my pretense of stupidity. There was no hiding it. Wufei wasn't going to hang on much longer. "You're the reason I'm strong…"

"I love you, do you know that?"

"I do. Oh, Wufei, I love you, you got to know how much!"

His hands returned the pressure on mine, "Remember how you said the darkness can't last?" his voice was soft, sleepy-like. "'Member?"

"I do!" The tears wouldn't come, they were burning, boiling, and yet they couldn't, wouldn't fall.

"You were right. One day, Duo, the sun will shine for you." Soft voice, soft pressure, soft breathing. Too much softness, too quiet for someone so passionate as Wufei.

"Wufei…" the words wouldn't come.

"Duo, promise me something."

"Anything," I whispered, dropping one hand to smooth the hair back out of his face. "Anything you want."

"Quatre…he loves you. Promise that one day you'll give him a chance."

"No! You and only you!" I cried, bowing my head to touch his hands. "I only want you! Only love you!"

"But one day…"

"No, Wufei, you're going to be fine!" My voice rose and I clutched at him. "You can't-its not fair! Wufei!"

"…the sun…its going to shine, Duo…"

"Wufei!"

"...and I'm so tired, Duo, let me sleep…"

"No, no, Wufei, hold on!"

"…so tired, Duo, so tired…"

"Wufei," I shrieked, and dropped his hands, pounded his chest with my feeble fists. The howls of a wounded animal escaped my lips and I screamed in place of the tears that would never find release. I screamed for Wufei, I screamed for Quatre, I screamed for me. I screamed for the life Wufei and I should of have and for the love Quatre should have found elsewhere. I screamed because I wanted to scream. I screamed because it was the only way to let go of the pain, the only way for me to claw through the darkness and find the light.

They tore me away from Wufei, pushed me back to be swallowed by the mob of well-wishers. Their condolences disgusted me; I threw them off and spat at them. I didn't want them! I wanted Wufei, only Wufei, he was the one, and he was gone!

"Gone!" I cried, letting the reality sink in. "He's gone!"

"Duo?" I heard Quatre's voice and I stood still, trembling all over. "Oh, Duo!" that was all he said and I broke again.

"Gone! He's gone"! I cried, turning to Quatre and pounding at his chest. "Damn you for living! Damn you!" I cried, waiting for the tears to spill down over my face. "How could it be alright for him to go? How could he leave me? The sun won't shine! It won't because I'm alone! Because he's gone! Gooonnne…" the word became a moan and my voice cracked on it.

Quatre seemed to know exactly what to do, letting me pound my hands on him, scream at him until I began to sob inwardly clasping my hands over my face and whimpering pitifully. Only then, did he dare embrace me. I stood there, in the circle of his arms for the longest time, even after the inward sobs had stopped.

…he loves you. Promise…give him a chance… I pushed Quatre away and kept him away. "No! Go away! I want to be alone!"

"Duo…its getting cold-and late, we should-,"

"Go away!" I cried, backing away from him, feeling like a cornered wild animal. "Get away from me!" He loves me; I don't care! I want Wufei! 

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he stepped away from me. I turned away from him and stood silently in the open yard, my senses ringing with the odor of smoke and ash and the aching realization Wufei was gone.

The wind stirred and brushed along my face, as gentle as the lips that used to brush kisses along my face. Wind caressed my body like a pair of hands used too. I closed my eyes. Wufei is in the wind, I thought, my head aching. He's everywhere… 

Wufei had told me the darkness couldn't last. He'd reminded me of my own words. No, no, the darkness wouldn't last. Wufei was everywhere; he was going to help me find the light.

No, the darkness can't last.

I smiled.

::END::


End file.
